


Trojan Force

by ForceDJ



Series: The Ties That Bind Us [2]
Category: Kylo Ren - Fandom, Reylo - Fandom, Star Wars, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), hux - Fandom
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Kylo Ren is an idiot, Kylo in a towel, Loss of Virginity, Memory Alteration, Plot, Sexual Violence, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-09-20 22:29:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9518756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForceDJ/pseuds/ForceDJ
Summary: A new recruit comes to the Finalizer. Take note of the warnings. Dark in places but I hope a little bit of humour in there too.Please Read - Fight or Flight - first





	1. Chapter 1

Lara had been on the Finalizer for a month and was still feeling out of step on the huge star ship. She kept getting lost on the way to the canteen and then getting lost again on the way back to the flight deck. She had been reprimanded three times already for unpunctual arrival at the morning meeting and this morning she was going to avoid this embarrassment. She was going to set off ten minutes early and hopefully would not get side tracked by the vast expanse of stars at officers lounge C. She must focus. It was just so hard at the moment.

She wiped steam away from her mirror. Her worried face looked back at her and she felt like she was looking at a stranger with her grey first order uniform snug at her neck. Her one pip marking her out as fresh from the cadet academy. She smoothed her blond bob behind her ears and then reached for the blue contact lenses she favoured at the moment. Perhaps she would choose this colour permanently when they next they had leave. She was told one could do it cheaply and safely on one of the core worlds. It looked nice but it seemed a bit dull when there were so many other options to choose from. She added dark kohl around her eyes, pink rouge to her cheeks and a dusky red colour to her lips.

Her mother had always told her to be well turned out. Make the most of her appearance. She found herself repeating the words under her breath. “Always make the effort, never let it slip, make yourself perfection, it’s not a deception, what they see is what they get.” She smiled brightly at her reflection. 

She added her cap and pinned it in place with the bright little pins they had given her. She added her scent. Night blossom from Askam 4. She had been to the planet once when she had been a teenager and remembered swimming in cool pools with the smell of the blossom floating over the water. She shook her head for a moment. She must focus or she would be late again.

She left her small quarters and started walking towards the command centre. She was hungry but she would wait for lunch. She had been eating too much again. She shook her head in disgust. Always thinking about food. At the academy she had been forced to exercise for hours every day now she was sitting for a lot of the day. And then there were the sweet Bascum cakes that she could get whenever she wanted them. She definitely felt slightly rounder than when she had come aboard.

She had never expected to find herself on the command vessel so early in her career. The expectation had been that she would have another year of academy training focussing on a specialty, but then at the end of the second year things had changed. Her teachers had noticed her skills as a pilot and with hand to hand combat combined with her outstanding leadership tests they had chosen to fast track her to senior management. That meant getting experience here on the ship that held the top brass of the first order.

She also suspected that the destruction of Star Killer base meant that she was having to fill the shoes of someone who had lost their life to the rebels. She didn’t know what to think of that. Was she safe here? Why couldn’t she just have ended up on one of the backwater bases? She felt like she wasn’t meant to be here. She shook her head disgusted with her own thoughts. 

She walked in to the command centre and kept her eyes on the grey walkway in front of her. 

“Ahh Junior Officer Lane, so glad you could join us on time this morning.” Hux was his usual observant self. She found herself going red as some of the other officers smirked. “Meeting room 77 in ten minutes please.” He looked at his data pad. “You are on sensors desk eight today.” 

He turned away from her as she saluted and said the obligatory. “Yes Sir.” 

Already looking for another target. That man loved pointing out other peoples inadequacies. Lara went to her allotted terminal and started checking the report that had been left by the previous shift. Nothing especially of note, although one sensor was reporting a fault. It wasn’t an external sensor so would not be of high priority but since nothing else was going on she would fill in a work order later on after the morning management meeting.

Speaking of which. She got to her feet and walked down the corridor to meeting room 77. She was only the second person to enter but didn’t go and sit at the oval grey table. That was just for the top officers. She would wait quietly by the wall. Soon the room was filling and finally Hux came and took his place at the head of the table. There was one place left unfilled next to his chair. Hux looked at it with irritation. 

“Maddox, could you kindly go and enquire if Kylo Ren would be so good as to join us some time this morning.”Hux stabbed at his data pad while Maddox took a step forward looking like a man who had been given a death sentence.

“No need.” His deep modulated voice carried through the room and then he walked in like a dark storm brewing. He pulled out the chair carelessly and sat, his posture strangely irreverent in comparison to the officers of the first order. Lara looked at him with interest and awe. He didn’t come to all the meetings and she had only seen him a handful of times before. He seemed to dwarf the other people in the room in a physical and non physical way. Lara would swear she could feel waves of frustration and aggression coming from him from feet away. The little hairs on the back of her arms started to stand on end and she found herself fidgeting. One bad tempered glance from Hux stopped her at once.

Hux cleared his throat and then started. “I’ve gathered the officers together today because we have a new mission. We will be heading to an outer rim world called Yotan. Some aspects of the mission are need to know only but what I can tell you is that we will need to be gathering a type of ore from the planet. I will expect groups of officers to lead up teams to go to the planet surface. I will assign you your groups in the next few weeks.” He paused and frowned. “Kylo Ren will be in overall charge of the ore, it’s storage and movement so I expect you all to consult with him on these aspects of the mission.” He sniffed. It was obvious that he was annoyed that Kylo Ren was involved at all. He turned to the man in question “Do you have anything to add?” Kylo waited a few moments too long before he shook his head slightly.

“Alright dismissed.” Hux got up and left before anybody else had moved. Kylo still sat at the table unmoving as officers gave him a wide berth on the way out of the room. Lara had heard rumours that he could read thoughts which was very alarming considering the strange ideas that sometimes floated through her mind. Which was why when she walked passed him she kept her thoughts centred on Bascum cakes. Sweet and delicious, the honey always seemed to drip down her chin and then she would have lick her sticky fingers clean. She moved out of the room and then was then annoyed that she really did want some cake. Typical.

After filling out the work order for the broken sensor she found herself moving towards the the officers mess and while she tried very hard to reach for fruit, in the end she was at her table in the corner with two sticky Bascum cakes and extra strong caff. She was starving and the cakes were amazing. She sighed happily. Moments later she was joined by Sam a slightly senior officer who worked the day shift with her.

“Hows your morning going Laney?” He was blond with dimples and seemed to get a lot of female attention and some male. Reportedly he liked it all.

“Peachy.” She smiled back. “I wasn’t late! I think I deserve some sort of prize.” 

Sam raised an eyebrow. “More cake?”

“Ahh no more cake. I’m getting fat.” 

Sam guffawed. “You are not fat! You are getting nicely curvy. It’s the way I like my women.” His grin was very flirtatious and made her feel slightly hot. “And now I’m definitely getting you more cake.” He sauntered off to the serving machine with a wink. 

While he was at the machine Toni Ardot walked up to him. She only knew him vaguely as he was generally on the second shift while she was in the first. They both came back to the table with a small plate heaped with cakes. Lara giggled.

“That is ridiculous!” She protested.

“What? It’s a big occasion when Lara Lane is not late you know.” Sam grinned again and Lara could totally see why so many had not resisted his charms. “We will be kind and help you.” With that he picked up a dripping square of cake and popped it in his mouth without getting any honey anywhere. After he had swallowed he turned to the other man. “You’ve met Toni haven’t you?” 

She smiled as he reached across the table and took her hand for a moment. He was a large man with big meaty hands. He obviously worked out a great deal. 

“A pleasure. Your new to the ship aren’t you?” His voice was nice and low.

“Been here three months. Just about finding my way round now. Just about.” She looked mock sad and then smiled. He smiled back.

“We are having a little gathering on viewing deck three at twenty four hundred hours. It would be great if you came along for a bit. You would meet some of the people on the other shifts.” He looked at her intently but seemed kindly enough. Lara looked at Sam.

“Are you going Sammy?”

“You betcha Laney! There is a rather interesting brunet that I would just love to know a little better on shift two.” He grinned evilly. Although nothing looked too alarming on his dimpled face. 

The afternoon went without a hitch other than the sugar low that hit mid way. She found her eyes getting heavy and tried to focus on the report that had come in from one of the other ships in the vicinity. She must have dropped off for a moment because suddenly she was jumping with fright as Hux smashed a hand down on the panel beside her.

“Junior Officer Lane!”

“Yes Sir!”

"My office. Five minutes."

Lara nodded dejectedly.

“I think I should be hearing something at this point Lane.” She could tell that Hux was enjoying himself.

“Yes Sir.”

Five minutes later Lara was stood outside the centre of Hux’s domain. Not that anything distinguished it from the rest of the ship. Hux was a pretty spartan fellow all things considered.

Lara nibbled on the end of a pale pink fingernail. She idly thought she might have found him quite attractive if it wasn’t for the officiousness and the fact he took neat to all new levels of annoying. She wondered what he would look like with stubble.

“Come.” Hux’s slightly nasal voice called out of his perpetually open door. 

As Lara entered she found Hux knee deep in plans and maps. He ran a hand through his hair in irritation and mussed it up slightly. Lara had to resist the temptation to smile at this small sign of humanity.

"Generally I have been pleased with you progress Lane but you need keep your focus if you are going to get ahead in the First Order.” He looked up at her and she was surprised to see that he didn’t have is usually superior look on his face. “I like you and I think you are very capable…just turn up on time and get enough sleep. I swear half the time you seem to be walking round in a daze.” He leant back in his chair and she thought she detected the ghost of a smile. “Last week I’m sure you tripped over the same floor socket three times.” He paused. She had turned bright red.

“Sorry Sir.”

"I've had it moved."

“What?” She looked at him in puzzlement.

“The floor socket.” It was his turn to look just slightly embarrassed.

“Thank you Sir.” She looked at the floor.

“I have noticed that you have raised a work order for a faulty sensor on floor nineteen quadrant A. Chase that up tomorrow. It’s not been fixed.” She nodded at him and he raised an expectant eyebrow. After a beat she got the message.

“Yes Sir.”

“Dismissed.” She started to turn away “Oh and Lane?”

“Yes Sir.”

"On time please." She smiled at him.

“Yes Sir.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was hard to write and may be hard to read for some. Please proceed with caution.

Lara had at been at the gathering at viewing deck three for a few hours when she met up with Toni again. He was leaning on a chair in the corner when she wondered over to say hello. She hadn’t drunk a lot but could feel a warmth to her cheeks. He smiled in welcome and stood.

“You made it!” He moved forwards and gave her a peck her on the cheek which was slightly unexpected but she rolled with it and grinned.

“Wouldn’t miss it. Although I can’t stay long as if I’m late tomorrow Hux will probably do something evil to me.” She sipped the last of the orange drink in her beaker. 

“Ahh well we wouldn’t want that to happen would we? Let me get you another drink. I’ll be right back.” He walked away to a droid that was giving out drinks and Lara looked out at the expanse of the universe. It almost gave her vertigo to see a star scape without limits.

“Laney – there you are!” Sam came over and threw an arm over her shoulder. “Are you star struck?” He pointed to the window.

She sighed and looked up into his face. “I am a bit.” She decided that she really liked Sam. He was always so nice to her and despite the outrageous flirting never seemed to actually want anything from her except her smiles and company. “Where is this brunette then? I’m very curious.” She nudged him with her elbow.

He looked a little bashful for a moment before he pointed to a medium sized compactly built man talking to a lady officer on the other side of the lounge. As they regarded him he glanced over and gave Sam a smile which was reciprocated. “He is lovely but it is hard to get any time with him when he has a different shift pattern.” She squeezed his middle slightly.

“Well he is gorgeous and if you like him he must have a personality to match. I’m sure you will make it work.” He glanced at her fondly.

“I hope so.”

“Sammy are you stealing my girl?” Toni had returned with two drinks and placed one in Lara’s hand. Lara felt slightly annoyed at his presumption but decided to laugh it off.

“Oh no this one is far too good for the likes of me…and you if we are being honest!” and with that Sam made a sharp exit before Toni could hit him. Toni looked after him with a strange expression on his face. 

“Bit of a joker that one. Could get him in trouble one of these days.” Lara looked at Toni but couldn’t think what to say. “Go on drink up. You liked the Bascum cakes well that is Bascum wine.” He looked at her as she took a couple of sips. She smiled as the sweetness rolled over her tongue and then there was the slightest fiery aftertaste.

“Wow. I’ve never tasted anything like it.” She took another sip. “Where has this drink been all my life?” Toni smiled and stepped a little bit closer.

“I’m really glad you like it.” He took a moment to glance down at her uniform. “So how you enjoying life on the Finalizer?” She took another sip of the delicious drink and pondered his question.

“Not sure really. The people are nice but to be honest I’m slightly out of my depth. I keep getting lost and then I am late to meetings. I don’t know – maybe it will sort itself in a few weeks.” Tony rubbed her shoulder for a moment a look of concern on his face.

“We all feel like that at first. You make some friends, get the lay of the land and then everything smooths out, you’ll see.” His hand had not moved from her arm and she stepped away slightly. 

Five minutes later when she looked out at the stars her world lurched.

“How strong is that drink? Feeling a bit dizzy here,” 

Toni smiled at her. “It’s a little strong but nothing you can’t handle I’m sure.” 

Lara shook her head as she felt herself lurch to the side again and caught herself on a seat back. She took some breaths to try and centre herself but it didn’t seem to do her any good. She tried to say something to Toni but she couldn’t seem to form words.

Toni stepped up to her and slipped an arm round her waist. He pulled her up so she was standing beside him flush against his body. She hadn’t noticed how big he was before. He looked down at her.

“Maybe it was a little too strong then. Come on I’ll get you back to your room. Everything will be just fine.” 

Lara nodded gratefully at him as she realised she was losing coordination and her thoughts seemed to be too slow. He walked them away from the other revellers ducking out of a side door. The lack of noise was welcome.

It was at the point that they had got to one of the first turbo lifts that Lara had an alarming moment of clarity. She had never told him where her quarters were and so he couldn’t be taking her to them. She tried to tell him but some garbled noises was all that she managed. Lara tried to pull away and slow him down but he just used his other arm to grip her harder.

“Don’t you worry about a thing sweetheart. I’ll take the best of care of you.” It was something about the way he said it that sent panic flooding through her. She tried to pull away but everything was starting to get further and further away from her. She tried to shout but nothing came out but a moan. Heart beat loud in her head she saw darkness at the edge of her vision.

She had one clear thought - that she mustn’t lose consciousness. She focussed on that. Keep breathing and not let the dark wash over her.

Toni pushed her into the lift and the doors closed behind them. He immediately pressed her up against the wall. His left hand coming up to grasp at her breast painfully.

“Christ I want your cunt so bad baby.” He ground his erection into her and she felt herself scream into the silence. She was caged in a nightmare. She tried to push at him with all her might and found some strength left but Tony just laughed. “You wanna fight?” He reached up and took a handful of her hair and pulled it painfully. “We can do all that stuff just as soon as we get back to my place honey.” He pushed his mouth painfully against hers and then pulled back. “I’m really going to take my time with you.” 

He took a deep breath, took a step back from her, before slapping her, hard. She fell sideways but didn’t have the coordination to stop herself from cracking her head against the side of the lift. Toni looked down at her for a few moments. His breathing was ragged. “Fucking beautiful.”

There was a sensation of the lift slowing and then he was pulling her to her feet and supporting her into a dim corridor which seemed to go on for miles. Lara’s head ached from the bang to her skull and she could feel the warmth of blood slipping slowly down the side of her face. 

"Not too much further now.” He pulled her with urgency and Lara started to feel the futility of her situation. No one was coming and she was trapped with no escape. She felt hot tears making trails down her cheek. She once again tried to talk, to shout, to scream, but nothing she did made any difference. 

She was watching the grill of the walkway pass under her feet when she felt Toni stiffen beside her. She tried to raise her head to look but found she could only roll her head to the side and half see a figure approaching them. They were moving fast and in a few moments they would be gone and her only hope would be lost forever. He was almost passed them when she recognised who it was and hope flashed hot and frantic in her heart. She mentally started screaming for help over and over again. 

His black boots beat heavily behind them and Lara slumped. He had gone. He had left her. 

Toni straightened took a few steps forward as horror slipped slowly over Lara’s skull prickling uncomfortably down her arms and body. 

Then the thud of boots behind them stopped. There was a pause for a few moments.

“What are you doing?” Kylo Ren’s voice was a low but loud.

Toni spun awkwardly with her in his arms. “My friend had a few too many and I’m taking her back to her quarters.” He sounded scared.

Kylo took a slow step towards them and Lara could feel his anger like a cool breeze flowing over her skin. She wanted to drown in it. He slowly raised one hand and she heard Toni start to choke. He let go of her to grasp for his throat and then she was falling sideways. Except she wasn’t. She was being raised up into soft dark material. She smelt the cool air of a forest and snowflakes started to fall quietly all around her.


	3. Chapter 3

In his dream a child was sat in a tree throwing fruit at his head. It hit him with fat warm squelches while he desperately tried to release his lightsaber from his belt. The mechanism wouldn’t work and so he kept being pelted. 

The child was a little girl who had red ribbons in her hair, a white dress and white shiny shoes. She giggled and then stopped to take a bite of the fruit. He straightened and looked up at her.

“Will you please stop throwing fruit at me.” Kylo pleaded. “It’s going everywhere.”

“You should eat it.” The girl tossed another fruit at him and he caught it. 

“I don’t like fruit.” Kylo said to himself. It was a very big Felucian peach. Far too much to eat. It was very heavy. Kylo could hardly hold it up any longer. Kylo pitched forwards as the fruit started to pull him down while the world turned from bright to dark. He was falling from a great height above the Finalizer. Hurtling towards the hull of the ship. At the last moment he squeezed his eyes shut took a massive wrenching breath and sat up in bed. 

His heart was racing a staccato beat at his temple. Something was wrong but he wasn’t sure what. He started to open himself up to his surroundings but the wrongness increased to such an extent he couldn’t stay in bed a moment longer. He got up and tried to find the clothes that he tossed aside earlier in the evening. He got one leg of his trousers on, and part of the other, when his world lurched sideways and he fell off his bed tangled in his clothes.

He threw a few curses to his empty room and managed to finally pull his trousers on and then to get a layer of his top on. He jammed his bare feet into a pair of boots threw his cowl on his shoulders and then picked up his helmet as he strode from his rooms. He was at one end of a corridor so there was only one way to go. He got to a turbo lift and then wondered what the fuck he was doing. He put his helmet on before anybody saw him.

He almost turned back, but then he felt a sharp pain at the side of his head which almost brought him to his knees. The urgency of the situation magnified and he could hardly breath for fear. He was trapped.

He threw himself at the lift and jabbed at the button on the outside a number of times before it smoothly opened and he stumbled inside. He shut his eyes as the world spun around him and then jabbed at a floor. He wasn’t sure which one but it was the right one. The lift seemed to move so slowly that Kylo punched at the wall in frustration and then fell back as pain bloomed brightly in his fist washing away some of his confusion. The pain helped. He punched the wall again. His hiss distorted through the voice modulator.

When the doors slid open he was a walking wave of anger flowing down a corridor that seemed to extend for miles. 

He picked up pace hardly noticing a couple that were leant against each other in the passage. He was parallel with them when a cry for help sounded so loudly in his mind that it almost made him fall forwards onto his face. His momentum kept him moving for a few more heavy paces before he stopped abruptly and slowly turned. It was them. He focussed his thoughts and slowly her horror slid over him. His rage increased to a white hot noise in his head.

“What are you doing?” He didn’t even listen to the pathetic response because he had picked up on the intent in the vile man’s mind even as he prevaricated. Kylo raised his hand and started to slowly crush the mans throat. The girl started to topple sideways and Kylo took a large stride forwards sweeping her up to hold her against his chest. He felt her sigh and then her mind slipped away into unconsciousness and the whirlwind of emotions that had been thrust upon him drifted away as well.

Finally silence reigned in Kylo Ren’s mind. He stopped his death grip on the man who was a dark mound on the floor and looked at the girl in his arms. He didn’t recognise her but he could see she was one of the officers. A vague recollection of a pretty girl who was always thinking of cake made Kylo sigh heavily.

He was undecided what to do with her. He didn’t know where her rooms were and he didn’t want explain the situation to the duty doctor although that probably was the sensible option. Then of course there was the man slumped at the side of the corridor. It was all very inconvenient. Kylo tried to get a better look at her face but it was fairly grey in the corridor and she had turned her face to his chest. 

After a few moments more Kylo took a decision and retraced his steps back to his quarters. Once there he went through to his bedroom and gently laid the girl on his bed. He took the time to remove her shoes and checked that her heart rate and breathing were even and then pulled grey silky sheets over her. 

He went to leave the room and looked back at her. He would summon a medical droid and then deal with the man. Under his mask his expression became very grim.

 

Consciousness was a slow and painful affair that she had to fight for, every step of the way. First, all she was aware of was the pain in her head, then the nausea, then the pain in her eyes and then the metallic taste in her mouth. Slowly she became aware of things outside of herself. She could hear the sound of a fresher in use and she was in a bed, but the sheets felt different from her own and smelt of someone else. 

She opened her eyes a crack and found herself in an unusually large bedroom compared to her few square meters. She was lying in silky sheets. She was wearing ships issue sleep wear which was functional but not what she used herself. 

She sat up in bed and pulled a sheet up to her chin as she became aware of the sound of the fresher ceasing. Moments later a man walked in with a towel tucked around his waist drying his hair with another. He was tall and muscled with dark wavy hair and Lara had never laid eyes on him before in her life. She didn’t think.

“Who the fuck are you?” The man jumped in surprise turning fully towards her and lowering the towel from his damp hair.

“Shit, sorry. I thought I could quickly wash while you were asleep. I’ll just grab some clothes and…” He trailed off as he reached into an opening and got some trousers and then tried to exit.

"Wait!” The man stopped with his back towards her. It was quite some back and she noticed a couple of drops of water lazily wandering a path down it. “Were you at the party last night? Did we…?” She didn’t know how to put it after that. Everything sounded terrible – what guy wanted to know that they were that unmemorable? Anyway if she had fucked him she would really like to remember it. He was incredibly sexy. 

There was a bit of a pause and the man shifted slightly.

"Use the fresher. Get dressed. I’ll talk to you out here.” And then he left the room. She looked at the door that he had shut behind him for a few moments in further confusion. She then took note of the clock beside the bed and gasped in fright. She only had half an hour before her shift started and Hux was going to kill her if she turned up late again. She scrambled out of bed trying to locate her clothes. They were folded neatly on a counter top and she got into them as fast as she could. She located her shoes next to her bed and then looked in the mirror.

Oh fuck. She looked terrible. Apart from the makeup smeared all over her face there was a large bacta patch attached to the side of her face and she thought she could see discolouration down her whole left side. There was no more time to think about all that, she just had to leave. 

She opened the door to the living area and was once again shocked by the size of it. Not that It had much of interest in it other than a large viewing window which - was all the decoration you really needed.

The man was stood in front of it with his arms behind his back. He had put on some trousers but still didn’t have a top on. So there were some positives to the morning.

“Really sorry but I’m just going to have to leave. My shift starts at 8.00 and I can’t be late again. I’ll get a formal and I’m really new.” He turned to her with a frown.

“We need to talk about last night.” 

"Yeah? Well look maybe I’ll swing by later. I just cant do this now.” She started walking towards the door.

"Not later. You need to hear this now." He sounded irritated. He was quite the autocrat.

“Which bit of I don’t have time do you not understand? I have things to do. I really don’t appreciate being talked to like I’m a fucking child.” His face was a picture of shock. “Don’t think I will be coming back here any time soon actually.” And with that she went for the exit storming out as soon as the door would let her, which was conveniently fast.

 

Lara ended up being fifteen minutes late and had had to sneak into the morning meeting from the back. Unfortunately there was no space against the walls and she ended up having to walk the full length of the room while everybody looked at her. Then she stood feeling self conscious and faced Hux for the first time. He was looking at her and he didn’t look pleased. Even Kylo Ren had turned up before her. He seemed to be looking at her as well. No that must be paranoia.

Hux started droning on about the mission they would be starting and the groups they would be assigned to and she fazed out of the conversation. She was so annoyed at herself for being late again but when she had left the man’s quarters she had had literally no idea where she was and so had spent fifteen minutes just wondering around until she found a landmark she could navigate from.

Then she had cleaned herself up as best she could with concealer and a smaller bacta patch. Found her second uniform because the one from last night had blood on it and by that point there was no way to be on time even though she had run all the way. Running had really made her feel a bit ill. Whatever she had drunk last night was a killer. 

The last thing she remembered was standing with Sammy looking at the stars. What the hell had happened after that? Well looked like she had managed to pull Mr tall dark and handsome. Bit of shame that she had left on such a bad note because if he kept his mouth shut she would have definitely liked to have tapped that again. 

She started to wonder what it would be like to run her tongue down his damp chest and then pull that annoying towel away and carry on down. She wondered if he was big. If he was in proportion she thought he would be but then it didn’t feel very sore down there so maybe he was tiny.

She was rudely dragged from her revery by a crash of a chair and Kylo Ren striding from the room. What was up with him? Hux watched him go with a look of puzzlement on his face.

“What is wrong with everybody this morning?” Several people shuffled there feet in embarrassment. Looks like she wasn’t the only one who had a bad head. “Alright go on get out of here, looks like we are not going to get much more done this morning. Dismissed.” There was a general sigh of relief and then a hurried exodus. 

“Not you Lane. Come with me.” He sounded clipped and very angry. 

Her heart sank. She really had tried so hard to do what he wanted but somehow last night had just gone wrong and she didn’t understand why. She followed him into his office and stood in front of his desk while he shut the door behind her and then went to sit in his chair.

“I’m disappointed.” He said it really quietly and somehow that hit a nerve in her and she found her lower lip quivering. She bit it to try and stop herself from breaking down in front of him. “What happened to your face?”

She looked at him unhappily knowing that anything she said now was going to sound awful.

“Speak up.” His voice was suddenly loud and she jumped on the spot and found that her tears had started to fall.

"I'm sorry Sir." She sniffed. “I think I fell. I can’t remember.” 

“You were drunk then.” There was an uncomfortable silence and she didn’t deny it. He looked at his table top for a few moments and then sighed. “Alright then. I’m sorry to say that I am going to move you off my ship. You have potential but perhaps you are a bit young to have been given the responsibilities you have. I can’t have my officers behaving in the way you have consistently done.” He didn’t look up and she found that she couldn’t speak. “Take a few hours break and then please finish your days work. I’ll arrange a transport for the morning. Your dismissed.”

She turned and went from the room half blinded by tears. She managed to get back to her quarters by some instinct or other and when she finally heard the door close behind her she threw herself on her bed and sobbed into the covers in a way she hadn’t since she was a child. She had failed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if the first order has mouse droids but I think they should.

After an hour in which every dark and self destructive thought she had ever had about herself crossed her mind her intrinsic strength kicked in. Lara got up, had a shower, carefully reconstructed her appearance and also some of her mental armour and then went and did what Hux had instructed her to do. She went to her station, tied up some loose ends and left her reports in a good state for whoever would sit there next. She saw Hux but he didn’t acknowledge her. It hurt but she didn’t let it show. What was done was done, and she had no way to reverse what had happened. 

It was almost the end of her shift when she reviewed the work order for the faulty sensor. It had not been acknowledged by the engineers. That was strange. They usually responded within the hour and it had been more than a day. She got up and made her way to engineering.

She had a long and fruitless conversation with the duty shift manager where he refused to admit that he had ever received the request and seemed to find the whole conversation extremely amusing. She found it increasingly irritating. Finally she walked out so wound up she felt like kicking the next mouse droid that she met. She withheld herself and decided to go and take a look at the sensor herself. She wasn’t completely inept when it came to fixing technology so maybe she could do something or at least identify the problem. 

Lara made her way to quadrant 19 A and had a strong sense of déjà vu as she realised she was retracing her steps to the very door that she had exited in such a hurry that morning. She looked at it for a long time wondering why her life seemed to be in such a downward spiral at the moment. Then she turned away from it and tried to find the sensor.

It didn’t take much intelligence to work out the problem. In fact it was obvious. There was a deep scar in the fabric of the corridor above her head. It looked almost like something had melted through it. She had seen similar before. This was the work of Kylo Ren’s light sabre. This was probably going to be impossible to fix by her but she had nothing better to do in the last few hours of her day so she opened the wall panel and assessed if there was anything she could do.

Half an hour later she had half the wires out of the wall and thought she was close to rigging up some sort of temporary fix, which wasn’t pretty but quite functional. She heard a sound behind her and turned.

Kylo Ren was looking at her. Masked, tall and extremely imposing. She stood staring up at him her mouth slightly open. She tried to think of something to say but her mind came up a blank. 

“What are you doing?” His voice was as low and frightening as usual and she found herself shaking slightly.

“I’m fixing a faulty sensor.” Her voice came out as a bit of a squeak.

“Don’t we have engineering to do that sort of thing?” He sounded genuinely perplexed even through the voice modulation.

“Umm, they wouldn’t listen to me. They said it was OK.” She felt her face burning and she wished he would go back to whatever he did. “I thought I would do it myself.”

He looked at her for a few moments. And then spoke to her patiently as if he was speaking to rather a slow child. “The reason that sensor doesn’t work is because I wish it so. I broke it and I want to stay broke. So please stop fixing the sensor.”

Her words came out before her mental sensor and a chance to intervene. “But why?”

He seemed to sigh. “I don’t want Hux to know every time I enter and exit my quarters. What I do, and when I do it, is my business.”

Lara just stared at him as what he said started to slowly coalesce in her mind and a feeling of the world tipping on it’s axis had her reaching out to steady herself against the passage wall. Her mouth felt dry and she found it difficult to make a sound but forced out the question because she just had to know.

"These are your quarters?” And she pointed to the door that was directly behind him while being careful not to touch him with her hand.

He seemed to be closer to her even though he hadn’t moved at all. 

“Yes.” It was a quiet yes but it was unmistakable and she suddenly did find her legs giving out. She was sat on the floor looking at his rather large feet. She had slept with Kylo Ren. That couldn’t be possible even if he was really attractive under all that black. She just couldn’t see how that could happen.

“No it didn’t.” He was leaning down towards her to reach for her arm. Was he answering her thoughts. Her alarm rose to dizzying heights as he pulled her rather easily to her feet. “But as I said this morning we do need to talk about what did happen. Lets go inside.” He pulled her towards his door but before he could get her inside she had pulled away in a sudden frantic move. The toll that her day was taking on her suddenly became far to much for her. She was terrified and looked at him with open horror.

“No. No. No.” She turned and ran.

 

Kylo watched the girl run away and didn’t even think about stopping her. The situation was a mess and he would have liked to clean it up but to be honest there was only so much he would or could do and dragging her into quarters to explain everything was too much effort.

Maybe it was better this way. She had no idea of the ugliness that had befallen her and after she got over the shock that she had stayed the night in his quarters she could go back to her normal existence and not be bothered by any of it. The man had been taken care of. He would never be bothering any young women ever again. That had been the only satisfying aspect of this whole sorry proceedings.

He looked at the mess of the wall in front of him, sighed, and pushed all the wires back in and closed the hatch. After this he stepped back. He unclipped his lightsaber, ignited it’s crackling blade and drove it deep into the top of the wall. It felt good so he did it again, and again, and again. He stopped when the heat started to penetrate the many layers of clothing he was wearing.

He shut off the lightsaber and entered his quarters. He immediately removed his mask and threw it down on to his soft seat. He took a deep breath of the air and scratched at his mussed hair. He was tired. He hadn’t eaten since the morning and was feeling the effects of that too. All in all it was a pretty appalling day. 

He dialled up a simple plate of food that looked unappetising but had all the basic nutrients that the human body needed. He wasn’t always so spartan in his choices but today he didn’t have the energy to enjoy anything at all.

His mind went back to the girl again. So flighty. He couldn’t seem to make her stay in one place for more than a few minutes. She was very unpredictable and quite annoying. Her thoughts broadcast like a shout and some of them were very distracting, in fact they gave him a headache. All in all however, whatever mild irritation she was turning out to be, he realised she could be very useful.

She had force ability, although she was completely unaware of it. The mission that they were about to undertake could really use that ability if he was able to cultivate her quickly enough. Of course he would have to make her stay in one place for more than a few moments without some emotional trauma taking place, but perhaps with orders from her superior officer, namely Hux, that could be achieved.

After he had eaten he wearily got ready for bed. Once he was in his sleep room he gratefully peeled the many layers from his body throwing clothes to the corner of the room. Naked he fell on the bed and buried his head into his pillow while pulling the silky sheets over himself. His pillow smelt of her. Flowers and musk. 

 

Kylo was unusually early for the morning meeting. They were assigning the teams to go planet side. Before that happened the teams had to be trained in all the processes to identify and extract the Kyber ore. Kylo and possibly this girl Lara would be able to find areas rich in the crystals but they couldn’t be everywhere and so non sensitives would have to judge by eye if a specific spot was worth extraction.

He watched everyone arrive in two’s and three’s. They all ceased to speak as they found him in the room. Of course he could still hear their mental chatter but he shut that out as best he could. Most peoples internal monologue was dull, worrying about the mundane and obsessing over the futile or unachievable. Hearing peoples thoughts was not an enjoyable perk of being force strong.

Finally Hux entered looking more tired and unkempt than usual. Kylo’s first response was a bit of schadenfreude but then he realised that anything bothering Hux would end up bothering him as well and he frowned behind his mask where no one could see it.

It was a long dull meeting that Kylo half kept track of but what really started to distract him was the fact that Lara had not turned up, even after twenty minutes she had not entered. Kylo had been hoping to take her aside and then talk to Hux about his plans to train her to identify Kyber traces. Perhaps she was ill. That was mildly inconvenient but he could always attempt some healing. 

Once everything was concluded he followed Hux to his office. Hux looked perturbed to find Kylo looming over his desk. Usually he was outwardly polite with hidden barbs but it was a testament to his exhaustion that he was just openly rude.

“What now? I have enough on my plate without you messing everything up.” He ran his hand through his hair.

“Good-morning to you too.” Kylo couldn’t help himself. 

“Oh don’t give me that I just can’t be bothered this morning.” He slumped back in his chair and focused on the ceiling. “I could run the First Order with precision if it wasn’t for the fact that I have to dance to the tune of mystics and shamans.” The last was said in extreme disgust.

Kylo found himself amused. “I’ll pretend that I didn’t hear you say that. I am actually here to check why one of your officers wasn’t at the meeting today.”

Hux looked puzzled for a moment and then extremely suspicious. "There are only two officers that have not been at post in the last day. Officer Ardot and Junior Officer Lane. Which one interests you?”

Kylo had forgotten that there probably would be unpleasant ramifications from him having disposed of one of Hux’s officers. He weighed up whether he should tell him what happened but through some sort of sense of honour he felt duty bound to talk to the girl first. And that was proving challenging.

“It’s Lane. I wanted to talk to her, and you. She could prove useful.” Kylo noticed a strange look of regret pass over Hux’s face. He sat up. His discomfort was obvious

“I have relieved her of duty for failing to keep up a proper standard of work. She is being sent back to the academy.” 

“You have fired her for turning up late?” His disgust was obvious. Kylo was surprised that he was actually extremely angry on her behalf. Especially as his decision making had contributed to her situation.

“This is an army not a dance troop. These people here have to rely on her in battle and so the little stuff matters. So yes I have sent her back for more training. If I had the choice I’d send you too.” Kylo had obviously touched a nerve with Hux.

"She's gone then?" Kylo’s voice was quiet. 

"The transport is leaving in ten minutes. Why are you so interested in her?” But the last of Hux’s sentence was said to Kylo’s back as he left the office. Hux looked at the door for some moments a small frown on his face, then turned to his terminal and called up internal camera and sensor records from two nights before.


	5. Chapter 5

Lara had taken all her belongings, which weren’t much, and slowly walked to the shuttle early the next morning. Her eyes were hurting and she kept sniffing. It wasn’t a large craft and the pilot directed her to place her belongings at the front of the passenger area. She took a seat near the back and hid. There were only a few other people on board and they weren’t bothering her. So now she felt free to let a few tears slip down her face. She mopped at them with her sleeve having forgotten to bring anything to deal with it.

She wasn’t in uniform. She had been relieved of duty and so she had left it neatly clean and pressed at the end of her bed along with her well buffed shoes. She tried to get herself up to her usual standard this morning but the makeup kept smudging so in the end she wiped it all off. Looking in the mirror was like looking at someone from another life. Someone she had lost hold of and couldn’t reclaim.

She was blotchy and pale. A very unattractive combination and so she had been hiding behind the curtain of her blond hair whenever she dealt with anybody. She heard the initial preparations for departure. The door at the front was closed and Lara looked towards the front where a screen showed the outside. This was it then.

At that moment Lara decided she would leave the officers program. It wasn’t for her. She had tried conforming, fitting into their routines, following the orders but somewhere inside she could feel a rebellious part of her just desperate to escape the constraints. From the very start she had felt somehow misplaced. Now perhaps she could try and find her proper place in the Galaxy. 

However there was a part of her that felt she was leaving something important behind too. This was what was making the tears spring to her eyes and her heart hurt. She had made friends and had a small home and something else…no she couldn’t quite place it. She had lost the thread of her thoughts.

The craft’s engines became louder and she felt it rise. It started to move forwards but then shook alarmingly, the sound of the engines rising in pitch. Then it went down fast hitting the ground with a resounding bang that hurt Lara’s ears. The craft pitched to the side before settling back down to level. The engines cut suddenly and she saw the pilot hurry to the door of the craft but before he reached it, it was wrenched open to the sound of screaming bending metal.

All her own problems forgotten Lara pushed herself back in her seat and watched wide eyed as a tall dark figure stooped slightly to enter the craft. It was Kylo Ren. He looked about slowly ignoring the pilot who had been struck dum and wasn’t moving. He looked in Lara’s direction and then he was striding towards her. He stopped at her seat and loomed over her. Lara looked up at him.

“Leaving so soon?” 

Lara didn’t quite process what he was saying and just kept on staring at him.

“Get your things and come with me.” That was an order and Lara had been trained to follow orders. She stood and he stepped back. He motioned for her to proceed him and so she did. She felt the eyes of every other passenger on the two of them, her cheeks becoming hot. She got her bag aware that Kylo was directly behind her and closer than she found comfortable – although half a ship away was probably closer than she found comfortable.

Once out of the shuttle she paused and took a breath. Kylo came up beside her and took her arm propelling her out of the hanger bay. Workers who had seen the shuttle come down watched them pass in silence. 

“Lets go have a chat with Hux shall we?” 

Lara pulled away from him slightly but he just tightened his grip.

“Oh no girl, this time you are not getting away from me. It is high time we all talked.”

Lara felt herself starting to shake.

 

In what felt like no time at all she was pushed into Hux’s office and Kylo shut the door behind him. Nothing good ever happened when that door got shut.

Kylo nudged her towards a chair but she couldn’t sit while her ex commanding officer was staring at her. 

“Sit.” She couldn’t ignore Kylo either and so timidly sank onto the edge of a seat.

“An hour ago I didn’t think today could possibly get worse and then you come back.” Hux didn’t sit but leant forward and gripped the edge of his desk. “And I am told that you have broken a shuttle. Just to get Lane here. What the fuck is going on?” 

Kylo straightened and then removed his mask. Hux was obviously surprised at this and straightened himself. 

“As I was saying earlier, this girl is force sensitive and we can use her on the mission. If I have a week with her I think I can get her to recognise the Kyber crystals that we need and then we may be able to complete the mission quicker.”

"I relieved her of duty. I see no reason to re-instate her.” His voice was cool.

“There are things you don’t know about the past few day.”

Hux finally sat in the seat that was behind him and pulled it forwards to the desk that was covered with all sorts of papers.

“Yes. After our chat earlier, I have to say my curiosity was peaked and so I reviewed camera and sensor logs. I find it quite strange that so many cameras went faulty the evening before last. One after the other. What could have caused that?”

Lara was looking steadily at Kylo. He turned to her and his face looked intent and concerned.

Hux continued. “I did see that Lane here left an officers gathering drunk and in the company of Officer Ardot who has subsequently never been heard of. So if you could tell me what happened I would be ever so grateful.” 

Lara still hadn’t looked away from Kylo. He looked away first.

“She was drugged not drunk. That scum she was with intended to rape her. I felt her terror and went to see what was happening.” Kylo turned back to her. “He is gone now. He can’t touch you.”

Lara went very still.

“Why don’t I remember?”

“The drugs. Perhaps it’s better that you don’t.” His voice was gentle. “The medical droid I summoned informed me it was non life threatening and that you would only suffer mild after affects.”

There was an uncomfortable silence in the office.

“Lane.” Lara looked towards Hux. “I am sorry that this happened to you on my ship. I hope you will accept my apology and in light of the information I have just learned I will offer your position back to you.” 

Lara looked at her hands and found herself playing with the material of the black trousers she was wearing. She wanted to remember what had happened to her the night of the officers social. It didn’t feel right the Kylo Ren knew more about what happened to her than she did. Kylo’s voice interrupted her thoughts.

“I have a different proposition for Lara.”

Lara could feel Kylo’s dark eyes on her but didn’t look up. She found him too intense with his mask off.

“Become my pupil. I will teach you the ways of the force.”

His last words seemed to resound through her on a level that she couldn’t ignore. It was as if someone had struck a bell and the reverberations were still shaking her. She looked up at Kylo and he had put his hand to his head a puzzled frown on his face.

“That is a choice for you Lane” Hux sounded wearied all of a sudden. “You may make something of yourself as an officer of the First Order but if you want follow him then I will relinquish any authority I have. You cannot do both.” Hux didn’t look pleased. “You want to make her a Knight of Ren?”

“Perhaps. We must explore the extent of her powers first.” Kylo turned towards the door. “Are you coming with me Lara?” He put his helmet back on his head. He pressed a button and the door opened. He paused a moment. 

Lara didn’t consciously make a decision but she was standing and following Kylo before her mind caught up with her. She had already decided on the shuttle earlier that she was done with the being an officer, so she followed. 

 

He took her to his rooms again. She stood in the middle of his quarters and felt disconnected from herself as she watched Kylo remove his mask and then sit on his long black couch. Then he looked at her and she felt the scrutiny all the way to her core.

“I am pleased.” His voice was soft and silky. “But you need to know that I am harder to please than Hux. He just wants obedience. I want devotion.” He looked relaxed with his legs splayed and his hands resting on his thighs.

Lara blinked.

"To you?”

He thought for a few moments.

“Yes. To me.” 

Lara found it hard to swallow her mouth becoming dry. She looked into his eyes which seemed to be burning with a dark sort of fire and then his body and then she shut her eyes so she could think for a moment. What was he asking of her? What were the limits? Did she mind if there were no limits?

“I can hear your thoughts.” His voice was a low burr.

"Oh. All the time?" She felt as if she were standing in a dream.

“Yes.” She heard him move and then he was very close to her. She could feel his heat and she could sense other things as well. She felt his gloved fingers take her chin and lift her face towards his. “I’ll teach you to block it. I’ll teach you many things. Open your eyes.”

She did. He was mesmerising. She understood in that moment that she would give him everything. He was breathing deeply and looking at her face intently. There was something else. She tried to focus on the thought but she lost it before it became clear.

“Yes.” It was quiet but she knew he understood the thoughts behind it as well.

 

Kylo wasn’t entirely sure what was happening. He took a breath. 

She had just surrendered herself to him and he was finding it utterly intoxicating. He wanted her as badly as he had ever wanted anything but a small part of him was puzzled why this was happening at all. 

In Hux’s office he had offered to take her as an apprentice; but had not intended it until the moment he was speaking the words. Then here, looking at her, he found the situation rapidly spiralling out of his control. 

He let go of her and turned away ripping the gloves from his hands. His breathing was harsh. He was rock hard for her and he couldn’t drag his addled mind away from the idea of laying her nubile body on his bed and penetrating every part of her, repeatedly.

He could feel her behind him. Her body was calling to him. Her nipples were hard and her cunt was aching and wet. He could feel how the girl was squeezing her thighs together at the sensation. Her mind was as lust filled as his and he knew she wanted to spread her legs wide for him.

He walked to his sleeping quarters and rested his hand on the door frame. With deliberation he pulled his hand back and then punched the wall beside it. The pain gave him a little bit of agency back. 

“If you follow me in here I think you know what I’m going to do to you.” The idea of it made him shudder again almost bringing him to his knees. “You don’t have to. I’ll teach you either way.” He felt relieved that he had said it. He was a human not an animal. But it had been a close run thing. 

His knuckles were bleeding but all he could focus on was the feeling of her force signature, her body coming closer. She was a pulsing beacon. When she was so close that he could feel her heat again he lost all reason, spun and then grabbed at her, pulling her flush against his body. Grinding himself into her, finding her mouth and invading there too. She moaned and the sound took him over. He was no longer Kylo. He was only the power that was going to invade her and break down her every defence.

He picked her up and her thighs wrapped round him. The heat from her cunt was maddening against him. Some part of him knew that he should take his time but he was lost. He took her to the bed and threw her down. He could feel the sucking wash of her want. She was looking up at him, her eyes were black.

There was no possible choice but to obey her. He was ripping her top and her breast supports. She was pink and wanton. He pulled her trousers off and then there was just the flimsy bit of gusset between him and what he wanted. He undid his belt and crawled up her. Sucking and biting at everything he could reach. The underwear was no resistance at all and then he was pulsing at her entrance and she was all wet heat. He paused, something cool and dark and frightening was calling to him from a great distance. Telling him to stop. At that moment the girl pushed up. Impaling herself on him as far as she could and then he couldn’t hold back. He pushed forward hard and she cried out as he entered her body and just as quickly her mind. He was lost in a storm of her desire, swirling and violent. He kept giving her everything she wanted as it was his desire too and then he hit a barrier.

He could feel the girl going higher and higher and realised that they would reach their peak together but the barrier was wrong. He should have all of her. So as he felt her tip, and her body arch, he pushed down into her with everything he had. His seed, his passion, and all of his power, sweeping every part of her in relentless waves. Undeniable and elemental. And then the barrier broke and they were both screaming.


	6. Chapter 6

When Kylo woke it took some minutes before he started to process what had happened to him. Something was raw deep in his mind. Finally he opened his eyes and saw the girl. Fear spiked through him. She looked dead. He pushed himself up and put a tentative hand to her neck. There was the flutter of life there. She was alive but whatever had happened to her had taken it’s toll. He didn’t think she had moved at all since they had had sex. Kylo shook his head. His eyes went down her body. Her clothes were torn and there was dried blood on her thighs. 

Kylo rose quickly and bent over her looking intently, pushing the blond hair back from her face, very gently touching at the edges of her force signature to get a taste. It was her, it was Rey, the girl he now realised Snoke had blocked from his mind. How long had it been since he had taken Rey to see his Master? 

Kylo stilled while he tried to work it out. Perhaps, almost two years had passed. 

Kylo lowered his face to her lips and gently placed a kiss on them, he sighed sadly. Then he shook himself slightly. He reached out and carefully removed her ruined clothes. He removed his own clothes and then picked her up so that one hand was under her knees and the other held her torso to his chest. He walked into his fresher and force pushed the button to start the flow of hot water and then walked under with Rey in his arms. He was careful to protect her face from the full spray but he wanted to get her clean and warmer so he knelt and leant her unconscious body on the side of the large stall. Then he took some wash and started to methodically clean her. He ignored the shudders that shook his frame and the tears that were falling. His weakness.

Afterwards he dried her and then he placed her gently in his bed and pulled the covers over her. She had not stirred and she was still deathly pale. There was nothing physically wrong with her that he could see, but her force signature was tattered and confusing. He looked at her with worry. He would need strength to deal with this so he got dressed and then went and ordered some food. While he waited, he thought.

He knew that a lot of people around him regarded him as a violent thug. The one called when dark deeds had to be performed, when information had to be dragged from minds, when another sort of torture was needed. He wasn’t just that. He had a mind and he knew how to use it, but his Master wanted something else from him. Wanted him to focus on the darkness, not plan and strategise. He continually tried to push down his frustration with his position.

Watching the First Order build another bigger Death Star had been especially galling. Why repeat the mistakes of the past. Why waste all the resources on a big gun to destroy whole systems? Were they really going to achieve anything just through terror? These were the little voices that talked to him about the failings of his Master and especially the First Order. 

Now all his doubts were resurfacing. Rey. The child that he had known and hid, the girl that he hunted, the woman that he loved, was throwing him into even more confusion. His loyalty to his master had been formed when his whole identity was growing. He had been a constant, if dark companion, almost from the start. To question his rightness was to almost break the foundations of his life and call into question so many things that it might tear him apart completely. This tension had been with him for years but he was always trying to hide from it. 

But he couldn’t hand her back to Snoke. No he couldn’t do that. He should never have brought her near his Master at all. That had been a mistake.

He put his head in his hands. The choice was coming. Sooner than he had wanted but there was nothing he could do about that.

The door chimed and a droid entered with his food. Basic rations again, tailored to his physique. It would help him to think and to have the physical resources to help Rey wake. He thought. This was a wound in her mind and in the force that clung to her. Snoke had obviously spent time breaking down Rey and weaving somebody else into her and Kylo and blundered in and ripped it all apart.

He wasn't sure that he could fix her but he would try. He would see what was there and he would try. There were no other options. Not that he could get to quickly.

Once he had finished eating he went back to his bedroom and went and knelt by the bed. She had not moved but she was breathing. She was alive and he clung to that. He took one of her small hands in his own and shut his eyes but it didn’t feel right somehow. He went round the bed and then got in beside her. He took off the dark top that he was wearing and then pulled her body to him so he was spooning her. The skin of her back was against his chest but it was cool. He settled her so one of his hands settled just above her pelvis and then his other he placed over her forehead.

He started to breath out very slowly and absorbed her into the circle of his force energy so that she would be protected. Then he very gently sank into her mind.

It was a confusing place and as he carefully navigated through there seemed to be vey little of Rey to find. He kept going deeper. He was wary as he didn’t want to get lost in her thoughts. 

All at once he was walking through a dark forest. It was the forest on Takodana. He looked down at himself. He was in his full robes and he held his lightsaber in his hands. He heard a noise to his left and spun. He couldn’t see anything but he walked that way with purpose. He thought he saw white disappearing round a large tree but when he got there there was nothing. He kept walking and then the forest ended and he walked out into the endless dessert. The sun hurt his eyes. He wasn’t wearing his mask. His light sabre was gone.

There was a fallen AT-AT some way to the right on the next dune so he made his way towards it. When he got close enough he went into a shady spot and sat. He looked out at the vista. It was beautiful but lonely.

A little girl was looking at him from about six feet away. He didn’t move and she came closer and then came into the shade and sat a little way from him.

“Rey?”

She looked away from him.

"I'm nothing."

“No, you are Rey.” He reached for her but she pulled back slightly and looked like she would run. “Don’t be afraid.”

“You left me.” She was looking at him directly. She stood now and her little hands were fists. “You left me and you didn’t come back!”

Kylo shook his head slightly. “You were safer here away from me. I had to do it.”

"No!” She was crying. “You should have come back!” She ran then and although he tried to spring after her when he got out into the bright light she was gone. He walked all around the AT-AT but he could see no sign of her. Finally he decided to take a look inside. He ducked into the entrance and when he straightened he was in the dark. 

The air was humid and there was a large silver moon in the sky. In front of him was a large rock pool and in the pool there was a girl swimming. Purple blossoms hung low over the water and gave out a heavy and seductive perfume. The girl came to the edge of the pool where Kylo was stood and held onto the side. He got down onto one knee and looked at the girls face.

“Rey?”

"I'm Lara.” She giggled. “You know that.”

“Will you wake up now?”

“Come into the water.” One of her hands reached up and gripped his wrist. She was icy cold and Kylo felt afraid.

“You have to wake up now.” He tried to pull away from her grip but it was impossible.

“Kiss me.” The girl in the water pulled on him and then he was under the water and he felt himself being wrapped in her arms and her cold lips pressing against his. He struggled but there was no escape. She was pulling him deeper and deeper into the cold dark depths of the pool and there was no escape. He couldn’t breathe and he started to panic. He thrashed around but she would not let go. His attempts to escape became more feeble. He stopped moving and the darkness felt like it was overwhelming him. 

Then he became aware of a light becoming brighter and brighter above him. It almost blinded him. He then saw a child’s hand reaching for him. He reached up and their fingers were just out of reach. He gave one last attempt to pull free and he felt small warm fingers in his own and he was being pulled upwards again. The cold grip on him fell away and he was almost at the surface. He broke it and took a massive breath. 

He was back in his bed. He sat up gasping.

Rey was not awake. He pulled her over to look at her face. There was more colour than there had been before. She didn’t look so deathly now and her force signature was not quite as ragged although it was not the way it had been when he first knew her. He was less worried that she might just slip away.

He was very tired now so he decided that he would rest. He lay down beside her again and let his eyes drop.

 

When Kylo woke again she was gone and he could hear water running in the fresher. He sat up and looked at the door with some intensity. 

When she came out she was wrapped in a towel. They looked at each other for a beat before she looked away. He didn’t know what to say and he wasn’t sure who he was looking at. So he did the only other thing he could think of and reached out for her and tried to read her surface thoughts.

She was a cold bundle of fury and she was barely holding herself together. He sagged back down in the bed his relief so intense he thought he might lose his composure again but he clamped down on that. He was looking at Rey. 

“What do you remember?” He asked gently.

Her Hazel eyes were on him again and he flinched at her expression.

“Everything. You fucking stupid idiot, everything.” And then she was out of the bedroom and into the main room. He got up and followed her and found her pacing. 

“I’m sorry.” He was genuinely the most remorseful he had ever been and he just wanted her to be calm.

She turned and came at him and he didn’t even try to get out of the way as she slapped him very hard. He just looked at her. She slapped him again and this time his head was knocked to the side. He straightened up slowly. He saw her fist curl and this time she swung a punch at his face, he reflexively caught it and then caught her around the waist and pulled her against his body.

He knew he shouldn’t but he was finding the violence arousing. 

“You like that?” She sounded surprised and was looking at him like he was a monster again. “Let me go!”

He did. Her towel started to fall from her body and she didn’t manage to catch it. He fell to his knees in front of her and picked up the towel and offered it to her. She looked down at him. He couldn’t look away from her breasts and the dusky pink of her nipples. His eyes travelled lower over her taut stomach and finally to the triangle of curls at the apex of her legs. 

She was just watching him and had not moved to take the towel. Then she stepped forwards and his mouth would just be able to lick at her breasts if he had dared to raise his head up just slightly. She reached for his head and took a grip of a clump of his hair. She pulled his head back painfully and he let out a groan which was half pain and half lust.

“I am so angry with you I want hurt you. Do you understand!” She was shouting.

“You can hurt me.” He meant every word.

“Don’t you ever leave me again. Don’t do it. Don’t.” She was crying now. Great heaving sobs. “Please!” She screamed.

Kylo put his arms round her body and she sagged into him and her muffled sobs ended up against his chest. After a long time she started to calm and he still held her. Finally she pulled away and looked at him.

“I’m miserable.” Her face was blotchy and her eyes were puffy. She sniffed loudly. “Make me feel better.” 

Through the bond he got an idea of exactly what she wanted. He stood quickly and then swung her up into his arms as if she weighed nothing at all and took her to the bed room.


	7. Chapter 7

They were fighting in a training room on the Finalizer with quarterstaffs - Reys’s choice. She was a little rusty but was still furious and so was not holding back at all. Kylo was keeping her at bay but not coming at her with his full attacks and that was making her even more angry. She spun away from him with a cry of frustration and stomped to the back of the training room.

“Fight me properly!” She seethed.

“I’m trying to take you through the forms. You fight like wild cat not a warrior. Learn the forms and then you can let go once the movements are second nature.” He sounded wearied.

“Please. I need this.” She shook her head. “I’m so full of rage.”

He looked at her for a few moments.

“Alright, but keep the strikes to legs, arms and back.” He prowled towards her. “Obey me on this.” He was serious.

She gave him just the slightest bow. “Yes Master.” She couldn’t keep the hint of sarcasm from her voice.

“Begin.” His voice was low and his eyes intense.

Rey felt power start to flow just from her intent. She would hurt him. She would make him bleed. 

They circled each other carefully looking for an opening and then Rey spun to the right and swung the quarterstaff at his legs with all her might. He swung low and pushed her weapon up and back with so much force that she was taken off balance and took a few paces back.

“That was sloppy Rey. Use the anger – since your feeling so much of it.” He sounded just a little petulant.

“I will.” 

And then she came at him with an overhead strike which he defended, at which point she force pushed him in the middle and caused him to topple backwards. She followed him down still pushing her quarterstaff against his. She ended up with her thighs either side of his torso.

“You are not taking this seriously at all. What can you do with a quarterstaff this close?” He sounded irritated with her.

In a lighting fast move she let go of her quarterstaff and then ducked under his so that she ended up close to his face reaching to the back of her belt and bringing a knife to his throat. He stilled.  
Rey felt more darkness flow through her as she saw the way his eyes started to dilate. She pressed a little harder at his throat and saw blood bead at the edges of the blade. She took the pressure away and dragged the point down his neck, across his chest, to directly above his heart. She pushed slightly and she heard him take a breath.

“I could kill you now.” Her head seemed to be spinning with tendrils of violence and lust.

“No you couldn’t.” 

He put his hands to her hips and pushed her back so that she was dragged over his erection. His eyes closed for a moment. She just stayed still for a few breaths and then she pressed down on him and got distracted from her original intent at the almost pain that throbbed through her. 

“Much more likely that I am going run you through.” He reached up and started to undo his belt. “Do you want that?”

“I’m a bit sore.”

“It was your first time. I wasn’t gentle.” It was just a statement of fact. “I can do other things.” The rumble of his low voice flowed through his body and into her.

“I think I like the pain.” She didn’t sound sure.

He took a sharp breath and continued undoing his belt and then he was reaching for her clothing. She had been wearing a tunic that came to mid thigh so all he had to do was rip the material of her underwear and he had access. 

“Lets find out.”

The night before he had spent time licking her and showing her how to pleasure him but he had not penetrated her. Their first time had been so overwhelming that she couldn’t remember it very well. It was a haze of lust and extreme pain.

This time she was entirely present. 

“Can you put the knife down now?” He gently pushed the hand with the weapon to the side. “Don’t want any accidents.” 

She dropped the blade. He manoeuvred himself until he was at her entrance. She felt her wetness coating the head of his shaft as she moved over it.

“You do it. At your pace.” He spoke quietly. She looked at him and his expression was grim.

She pushed down a little way and felt she herself stretch and gasped. He was massive. His eyes had closed and he took in a deep breath. It did hurt but it was an enticing pain that came with the promise of dark pleasure. This was tied up with the fact that as they had started to join physically they opened up mentally and their power started to circulate. She could feel his overpowering need and the force that he held. She pushed down further and cried out as she took him to the hilt. 

She paused as the sensation sent ripples from her centre to all the corners of her body. She slowly pulled up from him while tilting her hip slightly forwards and then when she had almost lost him pushed down fast. Kylo groaned. She carried on slowly increasing the pace. Kylo reached up and started gently palming at her nipples under her tunic. She felt shivers run all the way through her.

Every time she came down on him her most sensitive nerves hit against his body and sent electricity coursing through her. She was so lost in the sensations of her own body and the sensations she could feel from him that all other concerns floated away. She felt a heat start to radiate out from her middle and spread down her thighs and make her extremely light headed. Rey increased the pace and the building tension became dangerously exquisite. 

She was possessing him in body and mind sucking energy into herself until she felt as if she were filled to the brim and couldn’t take anything more. At the moment when she felt everything starting to explode outwards she pushed down one final time and then pulled Kylo up by his clothing. He rose eagerly and she placed her open mouth to his and poured all her energy back to him while kissing him violently. She couldn’t help the cry she gave into the kiss. He gripped her arms and kissed her back and then his head fell as she felt his body shudder under her and he rammed himself in her deeper still.

She sagged against him and let her breathing return to normal slowly, aware of the fast beat of his heart under her ear. He had his hands on her hips and wasn’t doing anything but breathing.

“I’m sorry.” His low burr rumbled into her head and the rest of her. “I can only regret what I did. I can’t change it.” He sighed. “I was 16 - I did what I could.” He trailed off into silence. She didn’t talk for a while.

“I can’t forgive you.” She sat up slightly and looked down at him. “I was five and you just abandoned me. I cried for weeks. For years.” She bit her lip. She wouldn’t cry again.

“I’ve been alone too.”

She stood and walked towards the door straightening her clothes as much as she could. “You didn’t have to be. You caused my misery and your own. You created that existence for me and you would have never come back. I would have lived a life of loneliness and hunger. Better to have killed me.”

There was a long silence between them. He stood slowly as if rising pained him in some way. He pulled his clothes straight and came to stand behind her.

"I will take you back to the room. I have preparations to make.” He sounded like Kylo Ren again. “Remember you are Lara for the time being and that you are my pupil. My obedient pupil.” 

He walked passed her and opened the door to the training room and she saw he had picked up his helmet. He carefully placed it on his head and started striding through the ship not looking to see if she was keeping up. He didn’t need to look back to see if she was there.

 

He took her to the hall where his room was.

“Do you want the other room?” His voice was unreadable through the modulation. “Since I am so repellant to you, most of the time.” 

“Yes.” She said it quickly.

“Fine.”

“Lara needs a room of her own.” Rey raised an eyebrow.

"What does Rey need?" He asked quietly.

She shook her head at him. Sometimes she found it so hard to remember what he actually was.

“Go do whatever you have to do. Im tired.”

He looked at her for a moment. “Should I lock you in?” He was genuinely asking.

"Would you lock Lara in?"

“Lara was more biddable than you.” He was watching her and she found herself looking away.

“I suppose that’s what you want. Subservience. Somebody who meekly follows orders.” Rey turned to the door and Kylo reached passed her shoulder to open it. She was aware of his hard body at her back and the muscles in his arms.

“I have eclectic tastes little one.”

Rey was very annoyed at herself when his purr at her neck had her body heating up again. What was wrong with her – they had just had sex. 

“Go away.” She tried to sound irritated with him but from the ghost of a chuckle that she caught through his mask she knew he had picked up on her reaction.

“I’ll come to tuck you in later.” He sounded smug.

“Please don’t.”

“I have much to teach you.” And on that note he opened the door. 

She stepped inside and turned and after a brief moment he walked away without having locked the door.

 

A short while later Kylo Ren walked into Hux’s office and shut the door behind him. He took a seat opposite the General and stretched his legs out in front of him. Hux stood very straight behind his ever increasing piles of maps, geological reports and staff planning. Kylo reached up and took off his mask and then stretched his neck to either side. The cut that Rey had given him was a little sore.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?” The Redhead sneered.

“I’m going on a trip. Going to take a look at Yotan with Lara.” He paused and sat up little. “Teach her about Kyber Crystals in the field.” He kept looking at Hux.

“Has Snoke been informed?” Hux was sounding ruffled. 

Kylo smiled widely and leant forwards. “The Supreme Leader does not want the details, he wants results.”

Hux sat down stiffly in his chair. He was looking even more tired than the last time Kylo had seen him.

“I am well aware of what the Supreme Leader wants.” He picked up a report and pretended to be interested in it.

“You know if you are having trouble sleeping I can help you with that.” Kylo’s smile had lessened but it had not vanished and it was not kind.

“You are so funny.” He delivered deadpan. “How is Lane? I hope you are treating her well.” Kylo noted a light twitch at the side of Hux’s mouth.

“She’s fine. You like her.” Kylo’s tone became slightly teasing.

“Piss off will you. I am in a very happy relationship with my work.” Hux put a hand to his neat hair. “I wish you would get to the point and stop the baiting. You know I can’t stand you until I have had at least three Corellian Brandies and I don’t see a bottle in your hand.”

“I think you need to get away from the paperwork for a few days and come and see Yotan. You can never really understand the issues of a planet until you have seen it.” Kylo’s voice was level and careful.

Hux stilled and looked at Kylo with some intensity. He fidgeted for a moment and seemed to be about to say something but then stopped.

“How is the weapons facility progressing. Do you have a date for completion?” Kylo filled the silence. Hux was looking away and didn’t appear to be hearing him. “General!” There was a warning in Kylo’s tone and Hux seemed to remember himself and looked back at him.

“It is progressing as expected. We may hit problems when we combine the Kyber crystals but I think we may be operational in two months.” He leant towards Kylo. “You have to find the crystals.” He ran his hand through his hair. He seemed agitated.

“You better bring some Corellian 10 year old to Yotan because your going to see more of me than you like.” Kylo stood and stretched his hands above his head. Hux gave him a look of distaste. 

“900 tomorrow. We will take the Limo. Don’t be late.” As Kylo turned towards the door he noticed Hux was staring into space. “I really can help you sleep if you need it.” There was no teasing this time.

“No thank you.” Hux said with quiet vehemence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hoped to put more plot in this chapter but Kylo and Rey can't stop the arguing and sex.


	8. Chapter 8

When they came out of Hyperspace the planet looked nondescript and grey. There were large bodies of water and Rey wondered if she would get a chance to see a different ocean. 

She was stood at Kylo Ren's left while Hux was sat to his right in the co-pilots chair. Rey was twitchy - she wanted to pilot the craft. She was better than Kylo, and Hux was no airman, but Lara wasn't as experienced on paper and so she had to keep her frustration to herself. She wondered if it would be better to go and sit with the few Stormtroopers they had brought along but decided against it. When she looked at them she was reminded of Fin and it made her sad that she had not seen him in so long. A true friend, and she didn't know if she would ever see him again now. She would also love to see BB8 again. She had become very fond of the droid in the short time that she had known it. She sighed.

Her time with Kylo was still strained. Veering from the sublime to the violent. She had to admit that violence was coming from her. She didn't seem to be able to let go of the betrayal she felt. It had been a betrayal, she was sure of that, but Kylo had been very young himself and the alternative was her very early demise. Except that wasn't the alternative. He could have rejected the teachings of the dark side, he could have run with her to his mother and father, he could have chosen a better path.

Fin had been indoctrinated from an early age to be a Stormtrooper and had no love or family as an alternative, but when it came to it, he had chosen the light. He was a good man. Kylo Ren was not a good man. He was violent, impetuous and conflicted and had the blood of many on his hands. The blood of the helpless, not just from outright battle. Yet when he walked into a room there was nowhere else she could possibly look. It was as if they were two planets continually in orbit. There was no escape but they could not easily coexist either.

Rey knew that Kylo had had to deal with Snoke from too early in his life and this had twisted him beyond all recognition. She had suffered Snoke's attacks and could not imagine how this might have affected her when young. Maybe she would be Kylo Ren. His actions were always questionable but he kept fighting the total darkness, making choices that meant he still walked a line. This is what kept her hoping. There was still light in him.

Rey looked at his profile. He was wearing his helmet so there was not much to read. She carefully let her awareness go to him and touch at the edge of his mind. He was excited but he was also nervous. There was something that he was hiding from her. His barriers came up and he turned to her.

"I suggest that you don't." His voice held menace and was loud in the enclosed space.

Hux looked at the both of them briefly but didn't say anything. He was generally a man who didn't waste time on conversation unless it was necessary or he was going to get something out of it.

"I'm sorry Master." She breathed quietly. Submissive. Her mind was anything but, and she watched with amusement as Hux frowned and Kylo sat a little straighter. Kylo found her calling him Master arousing. He couldn't hide that from her.

Due to the bond she could feel basic emotions and primitive reactions, although if he wanted to block her she found it difficult to get specific thoughts and memories without a struggle. Now was probably not the time.

“Go and strap yourself in. We are about to enter the atmosphere.” Hux sounded strained. Rey wasn’t sure how to answer him now she wasn’t in his chain of command so she opted for nothing and went and restrained herself in one of the seats behind them.

Rey was feeling quite conflicted about how to think of General Hux. She had two parallel sets of experiences of him. He was the mass murdering enemy and the General who had coached her and mentored her in her first few months on the Finalizer. There was no easy solution to this dichotomy. Her life had always been full of shades of grey. Honour and principle had been the luxury of the privileged to those that lived on Jakku. Still, she wasn’t looking at a man that had killed a few in desperation. He had wiped out a civilisation. Perhaps that’s why he couldn’t sleep.

 

The planet was bleak with a cold wind that was making Rey's eyes sting with the dust. The air was breathable but the gravity was slightly lighter than she was used to and walking was something she would have to get used to. The sky was a very pale blue and stretched on unimpeded until she could see the smudge of mountains in the distance. Rey walked a little way from the ship to have a look at a low round spikey bush that she saw had tiny purple flowers.

Rey had missed being on a planet and even though this seemed like an inhospitable place she was glad to be here rather than the Finalizer. Rey turned to the west and watched as the last of the small sun sent long shadows over the landscape. She hugged her arms round her body as she was aware of Kylo walking up behind her.

"General Hux and I are going to take a speeder out to a likely location. I suggest you get some rest. It will be a busy day tomorrow." There was no warmth in his voice.

"Going out in the dark? Is that wise?"

"I appreciate your concern." His answer was abrupt and he turned away from her walking towards where some Stormtroopers who were maneuvering a speeder out of the much larger craft.

Rey watched him with some disquiet. He was being distant and hiding things from her.

Rey walked back to her small cabin and lay down on the bed. She must have fallen asleep because she was very disorientated when the door to her room opened and she sensed Kylo in the darkness. She reached to switch a low light on. Her voice was croaky when she spoke. "Don't I have a lock on that thing?"

"Not from me." His voice was quiet. She didn't know what to say to that and didn't resist when he knelt next to her bunk and placed a kiss on her lips. He was gentle but she could feel excited energy behind the caution. "Will you come to my quarters?"

Rey was annoyed that his request sent an immediate spike of lust through her that tightened parts of her body and made her breath catch. She felt betrayed by her biology. Rey looked at him for some long moments genuinely unsure about how she would answer.

"Please. I'm desperate for you." His voice was strained and needy and somehow this heightened the spinning in her head.

She didn't say anything and just pushed forwards towards his mouth, starting to kiss him frantically. He pulled her up and they ended up falling back against the wall of her room. After a few moments they pulled away from each other, breathing heavily. He took her hand and led her away.

 

The next morning Kylo had taken her out on a speeder and they had headed for the mountains where the Kyber crystals were to be located. After an hours travel they landed on a ledge among the mountains and Rey dismounted unsteadily. The valley they were in was made up of grey rock and shingle and she was sure that if she took a wrong step she would end up sliding to the bottom with many scrapes and bruises. 

The wind whistled through the high places and set a strange thrumming at the base of her skull. It was an unsettling and lonely place.

There were dark clouds brewing to the west and Rey looked at them with some foreboding. She got a bad feeling from that direction. Kylo took notice of where she was looking.

"We should watch that. Storms can become dangerous in the mountains very fast." He took her elbow gently. "Lets start. Open your awareness and see if you can find any veins of Kyber here."

Rey looked at him. "I don't know what to look for."

He shook his head and smiled. "It will be obvious."

Rey closed her eyes and took some calming breaths and then let her awareness spread out from herself. The first thing she noticed was the throbbing, turbulent but not unpleasant energy that was Kylo at her elbow. She tried to ignore this and extend her awareness beyond them. She took another calming breath and reached for the force, but it was at a low ebb on this planet, where there was only minimal life. Just as she was about to give up and admit defeat to Kylo she got a sense of something behind them. She turned towards the energy signature. It was faint but it was a steady pulse. It felt dark and cool.

Rey took a step forward only to be pulled back by Kylo.

"Open your eyes." She did and found that she was about to step off of the edge of the ledge that they had parked on. Only Kylo's firm grip had prevented her tumbling 20 meters to boulders below. "We need to step carefully." He led her to the back of the ledge and then took precise paces out on to the slippy shingle. He now held her hand firmly in his. They were both wearing gloves but she felt his strength and reassurance permeating through the contact. She liked the feeling of holding hands with him and frowned to herself. 

"Let's do this together. Will you let me in?" He was concentrating on where to put his feet and the whistling wind almost took his words away.

When Rey felt the edge of his force presence seeking entrance she opened up to him. She almost immediately felt warmth spread through her body. Most of the time they were joining as a part of carnal activity and so this would always feel sensual she supposed. She felt Kylo's amusement at her arousal but seemed to cool the ardor between them by directing her to the signature she had been following. 

Now she found they could feel it very clearly. In fact she found they could hear the song of many thousands of points of energy all through the mountains. They were all slightly different and their voices were beautiful and overwhelming. She felt dizzy and took wrong step falling against the incline. Kylo managed to keep his feet although his arm ended up at an uncomfortable angle. She felt both of their pain and it cleared their thinking.

She stood again and they carried on their careful progress. After twenty minutes they came to a solid cliff which rose above them for a long way and cut off their further progress. For a moment Rey felt annoyance until Kylo silently pointed out the opening in the rock. It was a cave. They entered and then Kylo dropped her hand and removed himself from her awareness at the same time as he reached behind himself and then placed a small torch in her hand. The combined light of their torches showed that the opening went on back into the darkness for some way.

"Now you must go on without me." She turned to him and almost dropped her torch. "Finding the Kyber Crystal for your lightsaber is something you must do alone."

Rey took in a startled breath and it was a few moments before she could find any words. "I'm going to build my own lightsaber?" She couldn't suppress the excitement that bubbled through her.

"If…" His voice was stern but she could tell he was smiling. "you can find your crystal. This is a test of your readiness and it can be dangerous." He stepped closer to her and was silent for a moment. "Come back to me."

She thought about what she might say in response but in the end she didn't say anything and turned away. She heard him sigh and it echoed slightly off the rock walls..

Rey raised her torch and pointed it down the tunnel and started to walk forward. The floor was uneven and covered with rocks and debris and the roof sometimes came so low that she had to bend double to get through. She felt the small points of energy around her at intervals but none of them was what she wanted. Time was hard to gauge under the ground and she wasn't sure how long it was before she came to a pool of black water in a larger cavern. She crouched down and took off her gloves and then dipped her fingers in. It was icy cold and made her shiver. She hummed to herself. What she wanted was in the depths and it was calling to her. Rey stood again and started to take off her clothes.

The hardest part was going in and then being brave enough to dive under the dark inky water. Then she could only direct herself by the call of the crystal. She felt like she had been swimming downwards for too long when she felt the bottom. Her lungs were burning when she realized that the crystal was not sat on the bottom but embedded in the rock. Rey returned to the surface and took a desperate gasp of air. Her toes and fingers were hurting from the cold water and she knew that if she was going to be able to get the crystal she would have to be fast.

Once again she swam for the bottom and once she was there she put her hand to the rock surface and called to the crystal. That didn't work. She had frantic moments of indecision before she reached out with her consciousness and finally felt the warmth of Kylo. She was desperate and so jabbed into him taking him by surprise. Before he could react at all she called his strength to herself and then hit the floor of the pool with her hand and their combined force power. She felt the ground crack and then the crystal was in her hand. She kicked for the surface desperate for breath. She broke the surface choking and managed to drag herself out of the water all the while coughing and trying to get rid of the water that had got in her lungs.

When she was finally still she felt infinitely weary and found it very hard to muster the strength to redress. She slowly managed and pocketed the crystal that had been nestled in her hand. It was smooth and was singing to her. She got to her feet and started the journey back. The cold was eating at her bones and she thought she could hear the song of other crystals calling out to her now. It was confusing and she felt infinitely tired so she decided to sit to rest for a moment before carrying on.

 

Kylo wasn't very good at waiting but he sank to the ground and started to meditate. He was aware of crystal song in the mountains and the approaching bad weather and realized that there was a time limit on this expedition. It must have been an hour after he had seen Rey's light disappear into the darkness that he felt her hit his consciousness in focussed desperation. If it had been anyone else his reaction would have been to block, but his force power accepted her before his mind could catch up. He had impressions of cold and terror and then she was taking his energy and they punched their force into rock. There was a satisfying fracture and then she was gone again.

He felt light headed for a moment and then carefully stood. He was worried.

It was received wisdom that a master must not interfere with their students retrieval of their Kyber crystal and Kylo had been willing to adhere to that. However she had reached for him in terror and desperation and his first instinct was to go to her side as fast as he could. He paused for only a few seconds before heading into the dark maw of the tunnel. Protocol be dammed. He only followed rules that suited him.


	9. Chapter 9

Rey awoke in Kylo Ren’s arms. He was walking and they were still in the darkness. She could tell that he was bent slightly to avoid the low hanging ceiling.

“Can you walk?” He asked quietly. “I’m not going to be able to carry you out of the last bit. It’s too low.”

“Yes.” 

Kylo gently lowered her to the ground and she kept a hand on him while she tried to find strength in her legs. She could feel Kylo reaching into his clothing and then there was the light of a torch illuminating their surroundings. Kylo would probably have to crawl through the next section.

“Thank you for coming for me.” Her quiet voice echoed round the enclosed space. She couldn’t see his face but he made no response. “Is something wrong?” There was a long pause.

“You still think I will leave you behind?” Rey wasn’t sure what to say to that and was still thinking when he made an annoyed noise and started forward. “The storm is coming closer. We have to go.” 

Rey followed Kylo as he lowered himself to the ground and started through the gap. It was hard work over the sharp rocks and Rey was glad she still had the tough gloves on her hands. After about 50 meters they could stand again and they brushed the dirt from their clothing. Rey took the lead this time and had only gone a short way when she felt a restraining hand on her shoulder.

“Wait a moment.” 

Rey turned and saw that Kylo was shining his torch to the left of the tunnel where she now saw a small opening just wide enough to allow a human through. Kylo was looking at the space and seemed to be deep in thought. 

“What is it?” she asked.

He shook his head obviously not wanting to answer her question. He turned and looked at her and then pushed past her to carry on their journey. She followed him once again but could tell that Kylo was very agitated. His steps were stiff and movements jerky. Rey reached for his mind and just hovered beyond his senses. She could feel he was in turmoil. A silent war was going on in his mind. She was puzzled about what could have disturbed him so much.

When he stopped suddenly she walked into his back and then stepped away as he turned.

“Wait here.” He ordered. And then he was striding the way they had just come leaving Rey feeling very curious and confused. It was about twenty minutes before she saw his light again, but the time had crawled while he had been away.  
“What have you been doing?” She asked in a sharp voice.

“It doesn’t matter.” He tried to walk past her but she gripped his arm.

“It obviously does matter. I want to know. Your keeping secrets.” She felt Kylo stiffen under her grip.

“Do not mistake our relationship. I do not have to explain myself to you.” His voice was hard and Rey immediately felt hurt.

She pulled her arm away from him and turned away quickly. She kept making the mistake of thinking he was something he wasn’t. Why did she keep letting him sleep with her if he still saw her as his prisoner or trainee?

She walked away quickly and didn’t notice Kylo punch the wall behind her and then hiss at the pain it caused.

Rey was very glad when she finally saw dim light ahead of them. It seemed like they had been underground for a very long time and all she wanted was to feel the fresh air of the surface. When she stepped outside she was immediately buffeted by a gust of strong wind and had to bend slightly to keep her feet. The noise of the wind through the mountains was loud and the light was much dimmer than it had been when they entered the cave.

Kylo came up behind her and took her arm. She tried to pull away but he didn’t let her go. 

“We don’t have time.” He shouted over the sound. He started to pull her up the sharp grey shingle and this time she didn’t resist.

When they reached their speeder Rey was having a very hard time staying upright in the face of the wind and Kylo’s grip was the only thing tethering her. She thought he was using the force to assist their progress. He started to get in the speeder but she pulled at him and then stretched up to talk in his ear.

“I’m the better pilot!” She shouted. He paused for only a moment before he pushed her forwards to the controls. Then got in beside her. They were going to be extremely lucky if they got back in once piece.

Moments later she eased the craft up and was immediately battling gusts that threw them towards the cliff. She took a sharp breath as the front right of the craft scraped against the shingle but she wrestled out into the middle of the valley.

“Get some hight.” Kylo shouted in her ear.

“I can’t. It’s worse up there. We have to stay low.” She hoped he could hear over the screaming of the wind. 

She got to the end of the valley and then had to take them up over a high point before descending again. As soon as they were above the cover of the slate cliffs the craft was whipped to the side and almost inverted. Rey cried out but then they righted and were able to descend again. She became aware that Kylo was using his powers to keep them a little bit steadier. She hoped it would be enough.

Once they were out of the mountains and onto lower ground the craft was more manageable and they were able to get back to the ship without further incidence although a stinging rain made the experience very unpleasant.

Back in the relative safety of Kylo’s ship Rey found that she was very cold and her head hurt so she tried to slink off to her quarters without notice. She came across Hux in the central seating area. He looked up and a smile curled his lips.

“Enjoy yourself out there Lane?”

“What does it look like?” She kept walking. “We got the craft back in one piece.” She was shivering.

“I was hoping you would lose him out there. Shame.” He finished quietly but she could hear him easily. She got to her door and then slipped inside. 

She quickly peeled off her wet clothes and after a hot shower she finally felt human enough to take a look at the crystal she had retrieved. She held it up to the light in the room. It was clear it the edges but at it’s heart there was a warmth that spoke of many colours. She was mesmerised by it’s energy and it seemed to be whispering it’s song in her mind. 

When her arm started to ache she realised that she had been looking at the crystal for too long. She needed to eat and then to sleep. She went to the dispenser in the common area and ate quickly. She didn’t want to talk to anyone and so escaped as soon as she could. She found the refuge of her bunk and then fell into unconsciousness the crystal gripped in her hand.

 

The next few days were taken up with visiting various areas of the planet with Rey and Kylo using their joint powers to divine for Kyber Crystal resonance. All the while Hux took detailed notes and added information to his cartographical maps. 

Everybody seemed to be on edge and Rey could not see a reason for it. She avoided Kylo and the rest of the crew as much as she could. Kylo seemed surly and was a brooding presence when they were not working together. When they joined minds it was obvious that he was expending a great deal of effort in blocking some aspects of his thinking from her.

On the forth day they landed on a beach close to the equator. Rey was the first out of the ship and was delighted to see a sandy beach. She went a little way from the craft and then sat on the warm sand and took off her boots. The feeling of the fine grains between her toes gave her a sharp sense memory of where she had come from. It had been a very hard life but it had been simple and she had not doubted her actions as she did now.

She looked out at the waves. The sun sparkled on the choppy water. This was the most beautiful part of the planet that they had so far discovered. She didn’t want to work today. What she would really like to do is strip off her clothes and dive into the water. She wondered if there were dangerous creatures in the depths?

Rey lay back on the sand, closed her eyes and sent out her awareness into the sea. There was life but it was small and would probably not cause her any issues. Her musings on whether to take a dip were interrupted by a body blocking the sun from her. She had known that Kylo was approaching so she didn’t react.

After a few moments he sat beside her. She turned her head towards him and opened her eyes a crack. He had forgone his usual flowing robes and was in figure hugging trousers and a black top that left his impressive arms bare. She felt a stirring within herself and quickly looked away. They had not been together physically for days and she was starting to yearn for him.

“What are you doing?” He sounded slightly more relaxed than he had for some time.

"I want to swim." 

There was silence from him but she felt his spike of surprise. He stood and then was reaching for her arm and hauling her to her feet.

"Lets take a walk." He didn’t let go of her as he started away from the ship and at an easy amble. He had a bag that was bouncing at his back and he still had his lightsaber at his side. No matter how relaxed he was he never left that anywhere. Rey fingered at her crystal which was nestled deep in pocket.

“I left my boots back there.” Rey protested when her thoughts had caught up with her.

“You wont need them.” His voice promised her things she had said she would deny herself. She didn’t try very hard to pull away.

A few coves along they came to an area that was blocked from the rest of the coast. The cliffs were dark grey but the sand on the beach was a warm gold in the sun. A waterfall fell from an overhang high above them and was absorbed by the sand at the base. When Rey looked up at the water she could see rainbow colours refracting through the fine spray it sent out. The ocean lapped gently at the shore and the were cut off from the breeze. It was beautiful.

A feeling that Rey didn’t understand started to fill her. It seemed both happy and sad and she felt tears prick at her eyes. Kylo pulled Rey gently to his body and she could smell the tang of his sweat as he bent down to kiss her. He was slow and careful and when he stopped Rey’s head was spinning. 

“I wasn’t going to let you do that any more.” She spoke quietly and stared into his dark fathomless eyes.

“But you like it.” His voice was like warm honey over her skin.

“You are keeping secrets. I know you are.” She hadn’t pulled away from him.

He placed a kiss on her forehead and then her cheek. He nipped gently at her ear and then laid his head on her shoulder. “I found a crystal in the cave. That’s all.”

Rey took a step away from him. “You already have a crystal.”

"It's not for me." He turned away, clearly uncomfortable.

"Tell me." She urged him. She had reached for his arm and he didn't pull away and instead pulled her against him again. He was hard.

“I’ll tell you if you agree to come swimming with me. I want to see you naked and wet.” He bent down and was kissing her again. His mouth urgent and invading. Rey felt blood roaring in her ears. When he finally stopped plundering her mouth she managed a whispered ‘yes’.

She felt his breath against her cheek as he started speaking quietly. “The crystal that called to me is my mothers.” He huffed. “I should have left it but I couldn’t. I don’t know why it called to me.”

Rey felt a warmth start at her cheeks that seemed to travel over every inch of her skin. Her heart was racing. She pushed up against him and gave him an urgent kiss of her own before pulling away. She backed away a few steps and then pulled her top over her head. Kylo was looking at her intently. She undid her breast support and then peeled her leggings down and kicked them away. She stood before him her nipples tight and aching.

“These too?” She asked hooking a finger under the band of her underwear.

“Those too. Face the water and do it slowly.” 

Rey turned to the water and slowly rolled her underwear down her legs bending at the waist. She heard Kylo’s breathing even over the sound of the waves and she burned for him. Rey straightened again and kicked the underwear to the side. She looked over her shoulder at Kylo. His fists were clenched and he looked like an animal that was about to pounce.

"You better run because I’m coming for you.” He growled. 

Rey laughed and starting running for the water. The cold of the sea made her scream in delight but she didn’t stop until the water was above her waist. Then she turned to face the beach. Kylo had taken off his top and was taking off his trousers. Then he was slinking slowly down the beach and Rey couldn’t take her eyes from the taught lines of his body. He was impressive and beautiful and knew how to move.

She watched as he waded up to her.

“Thought you wanted to swim…or are you too distracted?” He sounded amused. Rey couldn’t get her mind working. “Alright, come here little girl!” He reached down and picked her up while she blinked in surprise. For a moment she was being held against his body and then he lifted her up to his head hight and threw her forwards so she was plunged into the cold water. She rose up spluttering and wiping the salty brine from her eyes. He was bent over laughing.

“You no good nerf herder!” Rey launched herself at him but he stepped aside still laughing.

“Easy there. You needed cooling down.” 

"You need cooling down!" Rey used the force to push a large amount of water up at his head. He hadn't expected the move and ended up coughing from the water that went up his nose. When he straightened he had an evil look in his eye.

"Now you are going to get it.” He went for her and Rey turned away and started swimming away parallel to the beach. He was faster than her and very quickly she felt his large hand grip at her thigh. He pulled at her while finding his feet on the bottom. Then he pulled Rey up towards him. He put both his arms round her middle and hugged her firmly. He stilled and there was silence between them for a short while.

“Rey.” His lips were at her ear. “I love you. I’m not supposed to but I do.” His breathing came in on a hitch. “I’m not what you hoped for, I know, but I will never leave you if you want me. I will give you everything I have.” His voice was strained and she realised he was close to crying. “Please.” His mouth sucked at her neck for a moment. “Please have me.” One hand slowly planed up her front and pulled her more firmly against him. “Please be mine.”

Rey’s mind was white noise. She saw the beauty of the waves sparkling in the sun light. She felt a slight cool breeze caressing her skin and she felt the strong man against her back. This moment was her own and no one would ever rob her of it. It had been more than sixteen years since anybody had said that they loved Rey and she found she was starving for love.

Rey turned in his arms and put her hands to his chest. His hair was sticking to his face and she found she wanted to lick the salty drips from his cheeks.

“I am yours. I have no choice.” She sounded lost. “I just don’t want that life. I am not dark and neither are you.” Her voice brooked no argument and Kylo just kept looking at her.

"Then you will be my wife?" His eyes were boring into her. 

Rey’s eyes widened and the moment was in the balance. This would never come again she foresaw. This choice would change everything. She opened herself to the light.

“Yes.” It was said softly while she gazed up at him but she meant it. Kylo held still for a moment and then he let out a ragged breath. He placed a kiss on her mouth that was gentle but persistent. 

He picked her up and carried her to the shore. He laid her on the warm sand and then lay down facing her. His kisses were long and lingering. His exploration was full of adoration and when they finally found release under the open sky Rey’s heart was entirely lost to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should have said that there is a bit of influence here from my reading of the Crystal Singer by Anne McCaffrey. I was an avid reader of her stuff when I was a teenager and I still think about the planets she created. I loved her imagination - so hats off to her.
> 
> We are close to the end of this bit of the story so just thought I would give you a little warning of that. I have an idea for a third section but it is still perculating in the depths of my mind...
> 
> Anyway thank you for getting this far. I've enjoyed doing this and I hope you have enjoyed reading. One more chapter after this and then....well...we shall see.


	10. Chapter 10

They remained on the beach for some time. They didn’t talk of the future or dwell on the past for those were subjects that could bring pain and conflict. They existed for a few hours in the golden glow of the sunlight and were at peace.

The north had tinges of red and the shadows had lengthened when Kylo looked up and to the west. His gaze became distant and he seemed far away from her.

“What is it?”

He turned to her and the care free expression that he had held for the last few hours had gone. He reached forwards and put his hand to her cheek and she leant into it.

“It’s time to go back now.” He stood slowly and pulled her to her feet so that she was close to him. “Please trust me Rey.” He was looking at her intently. “Whatever happens remember that I am doing this for you.”

Rey pulled away slightly her eyes narrowing. “What are you doing?”

“What I must.” He turned and picked up the bag that he had brought with him.

“That’s not an answer.”

He ignored her and Rey’s attention was taken by what he had removed from the bag. It was Luke’s lightsaber. He held it out to her. She looked up at his face and didn’t move. She felt afraid.

“What’s happening?” She took a sharp breath. “Are you leaving me?” 

“No, I’m not. I said I would give this back to you and I keep my word Rey. I keep my word.” His voice was intense and serious. “Take it. You may need it.” He half turned and then thought better of it. “Please.”

She took the weapon that he had been holding out to her. He nodded at her slightly. And then he looked round the little golden bay that they had rested in and she did the same.

“In another time we may have had this life.” His hand indicated the peaceful setting. “It could have been simple. You, me and the child.” He looked at her and she looked back.

Rey felt all the little hairs on her skin start to stand up and she just kept staring at him.

“What?”

“It’s been there for a few days. Don’t you feel it?” He put a gentle hand to her shoulder. “We weren’t careful.” His smile was bittersweet. “We could have avoided it but we didn’t.” The silence that ensued was full of frantic energy as the force swirled round and through them responding to their heightened feelings. “Or maybe we couldn’t avoid it.” He laughed quietly. “Destiny.” He looked at her again and took the hand that wasn’t holding the lightsaber. “Don’t cry.”

Rey was then aware that there were tears on her cheeks and she couldn’t stop them. Her thoughts were spinning and she couldn’t make sense of anything.

“What will we do?” Her voice broke. She looked down and put a hand to her eyes. “Oh. You knew? How do you know?” She looked away from him. “No It can’t happen. It can’t happen.” She spun away from Kylo and started back towards the ship. 

Kylo leapt after her and took hold of her shoulders. “Breath.” His strong hands kept her in place. “It’s very simple really. Do you want it?” He took a breath. “I want this but if you don’t, then it can end simply and quickly. We have a medical droid.” He didn’t stop holding her.

Rey took a few breaths and tried to reach for the light. It came when she called and her panic lessened.

“It’s just that it’s such a dark world to be brought into.” The sunset had turned fiery orange and crimson and although she said the words she found that she couldn’t wholeheartedly mean them. “You want this?”

“I do.” His voice was reassuring. “The timing is bad but maybe we can change things. I’m going to change things. Will you trust me?” 

Rey turned and looked at Kylo Ren in the red light of the end of the day and was reminded of a day some years ago when she had watched him end the life of someone she had cared about. 

“Did your father trust you?” It was an awful thing to ask but if she was going to let him near her child this was something she couldn’t avoid. She was really going to have to understand what he was and why he had committed such dark acts. 

She watched him tremble before her. His eyes had been drawn to the horizon and she could see there were tears in them. He then looked at her and there was a deep abiding pain etched into his features. “I thought that if I did that one thing the pain would go. That I would no longer be torn by the light and the dark.” Kylo buried a fist in his own hair and he twisted his body as if he couldn’t stand being in his own skin. “Snoke,” A bitter word. “He told me over and over it was my ultimate test.” He looked back at her. “I have never been free of him. He has always been there. Always.” He looked at her again. “But it’s all been lies. All lies.” His voice went quiet. “I think loved my Father.” And then he started sobbing and put his head in his hands. He looked up. “Force knows I realise I don’t deserve you or your trust. I know that.” He turned away from her and walked up to the lapping water and looked at the sea.

Rey watched him for a while. She supposed that she had already made her choice. It was just a choice for her was different to a choice for her child. She would put up with things that she wouldn’t allow for their offspring.

“Kylo.” He kept looking at the sea and so she continued. “I want the baby and I want you. I really hope that you will be better, that I’m not being a fool for trusting you. If you hurt the child or me I will leave. Do you understand?” She sounded stern but inside she was nervous and felt foolish. These were just words. Would he ever really let her leave? She wasn’t so sure and it made her uncomfortable with herself that part of her wanted his intensity. Needed the obsessive love.

He turned and slowly came to her and put his lips to her forehead and then looked down into her eyes earnestly. “I will look after you and the child. I’ll never hurt you.”

She believed him. He would not intentionally hurt them. So it was done. She threw herself into his arms. She had been alone too long and all she wanted was him to never let go of her. She could overlook some of the worst bits of his history if he would always hold her.

They stood in each others arms for a few moments and then he looked up the beach and took her hand.

“We must go.”

 

They approached the ship a short time later and Kylo asked her to remain outside. When he returned he had Hux and two Storm Troopers with him. He walked up to her and took her hand.

“I am sorry that we have to rush this.” He pulled her towards Hux while she felt puzzled.

“What’s happening?” She tried to pull back on his arm but he didn’t relent until they were in front of Hux. “Kylo what’s happening?” She sounded annoyed now.

He now took both of her hands. “We are getting married. Hux can officiate. He does on the Finalizer.” He turned to Hux who was looking pale and strained. “Let’s get this done.” Kylo ordered.

“Fine.” Hux looked backwards and forwards between the two of them. “I’ll keep it to the minimum to make it legal.” He stood a little straighter.

“Wait! Sir. You are going along with this?” Rey looked at him totally thrown with why everybody seemed to be acting so out of character.

Hux had a momentary grim smile. “Rey, is it?” There was a harshness in his expression towards her. “You don’t know me and you don’t really know him. You understand that?” He was searching her face. “He tells me this is necessary for…” and then his voice trailed off.   
Kylo made an annoyed growl. “Fuck Hux. It’s almost time!”

Hux glanced nervously at the sky and shook himself. “Today I will bind you together in marriage. You will pledge yourselves for life.” He took a breath. “Repeat after me. I take Rey as my wife until death parts us.” Kylo repeated his voice firm. “Rey: I take Kylo Ren as my husband until death parts us.” Rey looked at Hux with panic and then turned and stared into Kylo’s intense dark eyes and then the force washed over her bringing peace and a feeling of rightness.

“I take Kylo Ren as my husband until death parts us.” Her voice was strong and hopeful and as soon as she finished Kylo crushed his lips to hers. 

After a moment Hux coughed and they looked at him looking slightly flushed. He raised an irritated eyebrow and they noticed he was holding out something in his hand. “The rings.”

Kylo took them and placed a silver band in her hand that sparkled with tiny stones at intervals. “Place one on my hand Rey.” She pushed it down his forth finger and then he did the same with the smaller band. Rey found that she had tears falling as she looked at the beautiful little ring. She could hear the song of the tiny Kyber crystals in them.

“You are Husband and Wife. Witnessed by myself, BD842 and FL220. It has been recorded by the ship and will also be recorded in official records in the next day or so. It is done.” Hux seemed to sigh in relief.

Kylo turned to Hux and held out a hand to him and surprisingly to Rey Hux took it. The two men looked at each other for a few moments. Then Kylo let go of him and took a few steps back and caught Rey by the arm and looked to the west.

“The Resistance are here!” Kylo said. He pulled Rey until they were some way from the ship and then he pulled her down so they were given some cover by a sand dune. Kylo got a blaster from the bag he had been carrying. Rey looked back to their ship and saw that the doors had been closed and it was lifting from the ground.

“Hux is going!” She said in panic. She turned to Kylo. “Why is he going?” Kylo looked but didn’t say anything. “Kylo you will be killed by the Resistance!”

Kylo smiled at her as they heard the first sounds of shots taken at the retreating First Order ship. “Not before they try and get a lot of information. I’ll have time.” He sounded entirely too calm about the whole situation. She shook her head and looked up at the battle with a grim expression. Kylo pulled her face towards him “Don’t you say anything to them do you understand. You are pregnant so they won’t hurt you and so you just keep quiet.”

“I obviously don’t know anything to tell them do I? You are still keeping secrets.” She was angry and she had to shout above the sounds of the X-Wings.

"Trust me Rey. You have to trust me." And then in the midst of the chaos he leant forward and gently kissed her and she forgot for a moment that there was firing overhead and just felt the warmth of his lips. She wanted him again but realised they may never get the chance to touch again. She kissed him back hungrily.

“General we have found two people on the beach.” Rey looked up to see a resistance fighter looking down at them and speaking into a communicator. Kylo beside her got slowly to his feet with his hands above his head and Rey took her lead from him and did the same. “Who are you?”

“I am Kylo Ren and this is my wife Rey.” His voice was strong and proud and Rey felt her cheeks heat.

The resistance fighter just stared at them for a few moments with her mouth slightly open before a look of horror and fear came over her face and she seemed rooted to the spot. Kylo chuckled.

“Tell the General that would you?” Kylo sounded almost polite and the resistance fighter remembered herself and passed on the news with shaking hands. Kylo turned his head to Rey slightly. “This should be interesting.”

Rey said nothing. Kylo was plotting - she had figured that much out but she had no idea what and now he would be captured by the Resistance. They would both be captured by the resistance. There is no way anybody would trust her now. She had married him but she really had no idea what she was getting herself into. She looked at him. He was smiling grimly.

“I love you.” Her voice was soft but still carried to him and he immediately turned his expression softening.

“I know.” He smiled and it was genuine and warm. “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of the second part of my story and I think there will be a bit of a pause before I continue. I need to finely plot the last section to get it right and there are some other things I want to write as well.
> 
> If you have got all the way to here then thank you with sticking with this. Any feedback would be appreciated.


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